For most of my time in the “real world” of work I was scared, scared I wouldn’t get promoted, scared of my professional reputation, scared that I wasn’t living up to my full potential and making the most of my time on this earth.

But if I had to pick one fear that stood out amongst the rest it would be this, “I’m scared of letting down my family”. Nothing used to paralyze me more in life than when something was going wrong that could impact my family and their future.

When I wasn’t growing in my job I was worried that I may not be able to give them a better life, when I was doing poorly in university I was worried that I would get kicked out and have to go back home and tell them daddy was a failure, when I was failing at my business I was worried that I wouldn’t have enough money to give them the things they want.

Everything I did was for their happiness, and I wanted to give them everything. I wanted to give them the best of the world, but on that journey they weren’t getting the best of me. What they were getting was a husband and father who was constantly stressed, constantly worrying, and constantly paying more attention to things that weren’t in his control.

I had the formula all wrong, what made my family happy was not the life I could give them, but the live we lived together. They were happy when I was happy, and all they really needed was my love, not the fancy clothes, not the big toys, not the expensive holidays, just my love.

Things become clearer when you realize that you were put on this earth to love. You stop worrying about things you can’t control, you stop worrying about the opinions of others, you stop stressing so much about work. Then you start to focus on things that matter, things that make you a better person and that bring joy to the lives of others, and it will amaze you how everything else you were worried about takes care of itself.