“I’m not happy anymore”, words that are like a shock to the system to hear from someone you love, what’s even worse is to feel that you had something to do with that unhappiness. People have asked me what is the one thing that has made my wife and I feel comfortable in our marriage, my response is because we made it through the worst.

We’ve spent time apart upset at each other, at the hardest points it got so bad that we even brought up the possibility of getting a divorce, twice. You get to a point where you think is this relationship even worth it, maybe it would be easier not having to deal with each other anymore, maybe I’m better off alone and this just wasn’t meant to be.

Being in that situation we asked ourselves one question “Is there something left to fight for?”. For us the answer was always yes, even if we didn’t want to admit it at the time. Even if it was the smallest of feelings, even if it was a moment in the past where they made you feel complete, even if it’s the way they smiled when you said I love you. If there is something still there to fight for then fight, don’t give up, hold on to those feelings, because at that point they are all you have.

We used those feelings to work past the pain, we used those feelings to listen to each other no matter how mad we were, we used those feelings to start building our relationship again, we used those feelings to keep us going and remember that beneath all the anger, beneath all the frustration, there is love.

When we look back at those times in our relationship we smile about them not because they are good memories, but because we are glad we made it through when it would have been so much easier to just walk away.

In life you have to fight for the things you love, it will be exhausting, it will keep you up at night, it will make everything you do harder, but something remarkable happens throughout that journey, you break through the hurt and find each other again, you find a love that is built to last, but most of all you find that beautiful person you promised to spend the rest of your life with.