“You want to be happy in your relationship? Keep trying to recreate the times where you didn’t worry so much about everything, where the simple sight of the person you loved in your life made everything feel better, when you enjoyed the relationship instead of trying to manage everything.” These are words from a mentor I have always tried to kept close to my heart but as we grow and gain more responsibilities as a couple only seem more difficult to hold on to.

As I look back, the hardest part of our journey as a couple was letting the excitement of being together disappear. Our relationship became a series of jobs, she would take the kids to school, I would pick up the groceries, she would arrange for company to clean the house, I would arrange for the plumber to fix our kitchen, she would wash the dishes, I would dry them.

Romance was something we forgot about. We had this long list of things we needed to do tomorrow but focusing on each other wasn’t even on it.

In a relationship you have to prioritize each other, even if it’s only a small part of your day, and believe me it’s difficult. Just like going home and laying on the couch is easier than heading to the gym, coming home and getting start with tasks that you are used to is easier than spontaneously going out with your partner for a romantic walk on the beach.

For us “date night” is our way of bringing back the young days of our relationship, one evening a week just for us, no responsibilities, no plans, we just go out and let life take us where it wants us to go. That night is a reminder to us that romance is like a fire and that we as a couple need to keep that fire alive with our passion for each other.

It’s scary to be in a relationship and realize that love isn’t what’s keeping you together anymore. But I will say this if you make the time for each other, and only for each other every day, those feelings you had when you first fell in love never leave you, the goose bumps they gave you when you used to see them walk through the door come back, you smile again and feel a sense of relief when you see them just knowing that they are there, in your life, and you wouldn’t want it any other way.