When I think of what has been the biggest area of growth in our relationship it’s how we communicate, how we connect on a daily basis, how we engage in each other’s thoughts and ideas.

When we were first together I remember how hard it was to communicate on things other than love and romance. There is no right or wrong in this situation it’s just a matter of us having different interests and being raised in different ways.

I was interested in writing, she was interested in drawing, I was more interested in the future, she was more interested in history, I thought space was important to explore, she thought there was still so much in the depths of the ocean yet to be discovered.

It got hard to hold a conversation for more than 2 minutes sometimes and that’s where something like the TV or just going out would fix things, anything to get our minds off trying to talk to each other. For me that was not the foundation and relationship that I believed would allow a marriage to last and grow stronger.

What we discovered is that even though our interests were different there is always a connection if we look hard enough. Writing and art are both forms of expression, our history plays a role in how we shape our future and identity, the ocean and space are both parts of the broader universe and a means for exploration. So we then started talking about creativity, the impact of time on lives and countries, and how we grow as individuals and societies when we explore.

By finding those connections in the different topics that interested us it allowed us to connect closer with each other and made talking about different things fun. We would forget time and spend hours discussing, debating, laughing and even arguing, but even then the arguing was part of the fun.

Working on our communication with each other has been such a remarkable part of our relationship. Now I would say it counts for almost everything and is a big reason our relationship has made it through some really difficult times. We know that we can talk about anything, the good or the bad, we can have those difficult conversations rather than keep them locked up inside because we know that by the end of that conversation we will be closer together, happier together and deeper in love.