“Is your relationship real?” is a common question I get from my readers, or “Does a love like the love you and Salama have really exist?” It makes me wonder what Salama and I are doing in our marriage that seems unrealistic. I looked over a few themes from my previous posts on marriage and here are some of the highlights.

We spend time listening to each other
We have a routine that allows us to spend quality time with each other everyday
We have date night at least once a week
We notice the little things about each other
We celebrate each other
We say “I love you”
We sacrifice for each other
We tolerate each other
We support each other
We appreciate each other
We have become best friends and love hanging out with each other

When I look at those highlights nothing seems really out of this world, it is just a combination of little things we have learned through our 8 years together. Did we always do those things, absolutely not, that is why there were hard times, that is why there were stages in our lives where we argued with each other more than we talked with each other, that is why we were closing to giving up and leaving each other not once but twice during our marriage.

Salama and I have seen our marriage go through the worst, we have felt the shock of discussing divorce, a word that I thought would never come up the day we got married. We cried thinking what might happen to our lives if everything fell apart. I think seeing each other at our most vulnerable gave us each a closer look at who we are as human beings, that even though we were saying things, deep down inside we loved each other, we wanted a happy marriage together, we wanted things to work.

That is all our marriage is, two people who love each other, that want to make things work, not for a few weeks or months, but forever, and to make things work we have to put in the work. We do all these little things because it brings us closer, it takes us to new and exciting places in our relationship, and it takes us further from the dark places we don’t ever want to see again.

So my answer is yes, a real and loving marriage exists for any couple that is ready and willing to work for it. Our relationship is real, all the good, all the bad, all the smiles, all the tears, and I would do it all again to be able to smile the way I do when she is around me today.